by Jim Northrup
In my studies of the Americans I have determined that they have three major holidays during the school year (which is nine months long). Let us look closer at three of them, starting with Thanksgiving.
Psst, hey, buddy. Do you know where I can score a couple of Pilgrims? Thanksgiving is coming, and once again we’re looking for a couple of Pilgrims to help us celebrate our feast. In years past we always started looking too late and found ourselves without Pilgrims for the holiday. We couldn’t hold our heads up among family because we were Pilgrimless on Turkey Day. We wanted a standard all-around holiday, so we need those dudes and dudettes dressed in their quaint costumes, you know, the buckle hats and white bonnets, somber clothing. I can picture them now, him with his hands curled around a Bible and blunderbuss, her carrying a prayer book, looking pious as hell.
Some historians say Thanksgiving started with Governor Bradford of the Plymouth Colony in 1621. That’s just one version of the story. We as Anishinaabeg know from our stories that we have been having thanksgiving feasts long before the newcomers waded ashore. As if this continent’s history started when the Pilgrims got here after their long boat ride. My cousin calls the Pilgrims the first boat people.
Alas, America seems to have forgotten the real reason for the holiday. Today it means overeating, football games, and shopping for that next one called Christmas.
Christmas . . . what a bummer. My earliest memories of Christmas were formed at the federal boarding school in Pipestone, Minnesota. We were given presents of ribbon candy and fruit. All it meant to me was some big guy was going to beat me up and take my presents, my Christmas.
Later, when I was in a Christian boarding school, I was older so no one beat me up anymore, but I learned about then that there was no such thing as goodwill toward man. Can you say hypocrisy? There was a big difference between the way they preached and the way they lived.
When my oldest son was in the first grade he told his teacher we don’t celebrate that holiday. She went out of her way and bought my son a fake Christmas tree. We thanked her but left it in the box and later gave it to someone who does celebrate the holiday. Today there is no tree inside my house. We leave them outside where they continue to grow. No tinsel, angels, stars, or cute manger scenes. My light bill stays the same because we don’t outline the house in colored lights. I could never make the connection between colored lights and the birth of the Christ child. The only real connection I could make was that power companies sponsor lighting contests every year. How do they judge those things, by the way? Is it on artistic merit or by the amount of electricity consumed?
I like the early morning stampedes on TV coming live from Wallyworld and other big-box stores. Christians are pushing and trampling each other to be the first to get the new Christmas doll. I know every year we have a different must-have doll. So, if the Cabbage Patch doll and the Tickle Me Elmo doll got married, would we have a baby doll that made a boogidi (fart) noise when you tickled it?
As for me and my family we give presents all around the year.
Easter, that’s another one. I learned at the Christian boarding school the real reasons for the holiday. The school was located in Hot Springs, South Dakota, and was called Brainerd Indian Training School. How the hell do you train an Indian anyway?
The way Easter is celebrated now kind of confuses me. Let me see if I got this straight. It begins with a pre-Easter sale in the retail stores. Then this unusual rabbit of unknown gender named Peter lays and delivers pastel-colored chicken eggs. Green plastic grass is part of it somewhere and not to forget the chocolate rabbits with their ears chewed off. Sometimes the pastel-colored chicken eggs are rolled down the White House lawn. The kids are teased by hiding the food. The ladies get a new bonnet to wear in the Easter parade, people get new clothes to show each other at church, and the whole thing is concluded with an after-Easter sale in the retail stores.
I wish that Easter bunny would come hop-hopping by my reservation. I got a snare with his name on it.
I shall now continue my studies of the Americans by looking at the minor holidays, Halloween, New Year’s, and the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. From my preliminary studies of the calendar, Halloween happens before Thanksgiving, New Year’s is between Christmas and Easter, and the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre happens in Chicago.
Jim Northrup is an Anishinaabe newspaper columnist, poet, performer, and political commentator from the Fond du Lac Indian Reservation in Minnesota. His Anishinaabe name is “Chibenashi” (from Chi-bineshiinh “Big little-bird”). His award winning column, the Fond du Lac Follies, is syndicated through several Native American papers. Books include the Minnesota Book Award-winning Rez Road Follies and Walking the Rez Road. Jim’s third book Anishinaabe Syndicated is scheduled for release early 2011 by MHS Press. He is currently working on a new collection of fiction titled Dirty Copper.
This article first appeared in A View from the Loft, November/December 2007. Reprinted with permission.
